Attack of The Gingerbread Man
From the Twisted Mind of My Brother Mike.
This is an authorized repost from Mikes Myspace Blog
Security cameras left running while I was in Mexico for Thanksgiving proved that I was being stalked.
The heat sensors picked up this image of my stalker ransacking the deck. I've circled the image of the little bugger so it's easier to see.
Last night the potty-cam in the downstairs bath caught this image at our window.
I was in trouble.
My past had come back to haunt me and I was going to have to relive it to survive.
Flash back to my youth.
I was young..................and hungry.
The Gingerbread Man's parents came to visit.
I couldn't resist. They looked so yummy.
I snatched the mother up first and dug in.
She smiled throughout the whole ordeal so I didn't think anything of it.
Ginger-Dad was next.
I broke out the milk and poured a glass.
Gingerbread and milk. Man, is there a better taste on the planet? I don't think so.
As I turned to get another glass of milk I noticed the expression on their son's face.
Oops. This was not a happy cookie.
Before I could make a move, the gingerbread man was off like a shot, screaming all the way.
You know the routine.
"Run run as fast as you can, you can't touch me but you ate my mum & dad."
Not quite the way I learned it on his parent's knee but the intent was there.
Flash forward twenty years.
Things had been going bump in the night for weeks leading up to Thanksgiving.
Amber and Brenda were sure I was losing his mind.
This wasn't anything new, but apparently it was worse than usual.
Brenda booked the family a trip to Playa del Carmen to put my mind at ease.
I went, but wasn't letting my guard down.
I knew in the back of my mind that it was the Gingerbread Man all these years later, come to exact his revenge.
I kept a low profile while there and hired some local birds to keep an eye out for anything that smelled or tasted like gingerbread. You can see them in the background keeping me safe.
I needn't have bothered. While I was sweating it out in Mexico the Gingerbread man was here casing the joint.
The motion activated cameras picked him up all over our house.
The little bugger was all over the house.
Here the cameras picked him up checking out the upstairs.
Right after this closeup of him the security system suffered an unexpected error.
When I got home I found crumbs all over the control panel.
I rebooted the system and reviewed the images.
Crap!
I was in trouble.
I found out how much almost immediately.
Doughboy had a knife.
Not just a knife, but a big knife.
"Back off or I'll cut you in the eye!" he screamed at me.
I dove for him, but knife boy was fast and he jabbed at my legs as he ran between them.
He ran under the pool table and tried to corner Doodle.
Sucker.
Bad move on his part.
Doodle will kill for gingerbread.
She quickly disarmed him and held him down so I could stick him in a bag.
I had an idea to get rid of him once and for all.
Off to Big Toms we went.
Seemed simple enough. I'd dunk him in the fryers and get him out of our life.
The Gingerbread Man wouldn't give up though.
I set the bag down and look at what the running man pulled on me.
Where in the hell was he hiding a gun on himself.
I decided I didn't want to know and just knocked his a%$ out.
At this point I was furious. The Gingerbread Man thrashed our deck, invaded our home, threatened and pulled a gun on me.
Only one thing to do............
Meet the newest shake flavor of the month for December at Eastside Big Tom.
Gingerbread.
Oh, is it good.
Great taste, nice texture with just a hint of malice.
Stop on in and try one.
They're available for the month of December along with...
Because I loves you all.
Sweet dreams.
Mike
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